ok, now you clicked a writing button hun. not bad. see, when you asked if I thought you were too cheesy, you basically told me you are the way I want you to be. At least that is how I saw it :)) one more reason to love you. You push buttons in my head hun. I don't know how you do it but I love you for it as you cannot even imagine.
You want to know me? here is a part of me. I am living evidence of all the crap they say about duality. I am emotional and rational, lovable and hate-able, bad and good, kinky and shy, cheesy and not-cheesy ( :))) - couldn't find the word), all in one. And the good part in everything is that for the first time in my life I don't feel I have to hide anything of who I am. But I think you already know that. Because you are the same. I don't know if you had to hide, maybe you had to hide too. But I sure had to hide. And usually it was the kinky side, the stuff that made me feel alive sometimes. The kid. the crazy me. the spontaneous me, who loves to do stuff on the spot if the moment feels perfect for doing something like sitting on the top of a car while someone drives it at 50 an hour. or to drop everything and go at a party in another town. the freedom I felt in doing the small stuff in life and enjoying them as they were the most significant things in the world. now don't get me wrong, haven't done a lot of crazy stuff, but I did my share of bits of everything I had the chance. Probably not even close to the crazy stuff you did.
I hate it when people stop laughing just because their ID tells them they got to an age when laughing and playing should not be acceptable. I like playing like a kid. I like acting out like a kid sometimes. I like acting like an adult and doing stuff right and fast when doing job-related stuff (few people take me serious unfortunately because of my pretty face and young look). and I like sex. In many ways. You know that. Well, you know some of it. I like romance, and I like straight to the point sex too. I like to act based on instinct, but forgot to trust my instincts and let them be. I forgot and quit doing many things. It would be fake and lame to blame this forgetting thing on other people. I was the one who let them make me forget. It wasn't like they made me do it and I refused and someone put a gun to my head. No, I let myself for others because I thought it was worth it or maybe I was just weak. anyway. I'm getting myself back because of you.
And this is another reasons why I love you so much: you see me and take me the way I am. I never understood why sweet had to cancel kinky. Why did cheesy had to eliminate sex from the equation? Why did sex had to cancel love, or why did love had to cancel sex, why people can't say they have sex because they love each other so they always say they make looove, not sex, as if they always make only love. Why do people deny their sexual stuff? Why is it so bad to have sex and wanting it and needing it, I find it hard to understand. I mean it's a lot more acceptable to do anything else, but not this. I don't know, I sometimes hate society for trying to make us all the same in what we believe and feel and want and like. sure, I like looking at nice things, but that's just relative. Nice and beautiful is something we learn to evaluate since we're starting to understand the world around us. we call little girls princesses and tell little boys they can't cry cuz crying is for girls. We divide colors between sexes but forget to learn how to actually live with each-other and let kids find out on their own what they like or not. Too far away from the topic here. :)) as I said, writing button. I could write all night but I would jump from one thing to another and there would be no logical point in what I would end up discussing :)) oh wait. this is my night monologue. That is until you read it :)) you can criticize my ideas you know. I don't wanna talk alone. I have other places where I speak and nobody hears me :)))
Hope you have a good night and see you tomorrow with your cheesiness and kinkiness and hotness and everything you are that I love so much. I know I am repeating myself, but want to make sure. Nobody stops doing anything. New rule. I can have my share of dictatorship. I accepted your decree on "but", now u accept mine. So everything stays on the table hun. If you stop doing anything you feel like doing, I'll know, and I'll hunt you for the rest of your life to start doing it again :)))That's a nice threat. you can threaten me back like that if you want. You get my point, right? :D
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