I heard this song this morning love. And it made me think of you and of us. I have it in my head and my heart is happy. I have flashbacks and flashforwards. I want more flashbacks. . I made so many wishes that I don't want them to remain just wishes. I hope all of them will come true one day. I want that and gonna keep them alive until they have what it takes to make them come true.
listen to this song.
Stay the night
lyrics:
Wooooah, Wooooah, Wooooahh, hey!
It's 72 degrees, zero chance of rain
It's been a perfect day
We're all spinning on our heels, so far away from real
In Californ-i-a
We watched the sunset from our car, we all took it in
And by the time that it was dark, you and me had
something, yeah!
And if this is what we've got, then what we've got is
gold
We're shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The morning's on it's way, our friends all say goodbye
There's nowhere else to go, I hope that you'll stay the
night
Wooooah, you'll stay the night, wooooah yeah
We've been singing Billie Jean
Mixing vodka with caffeine
We've got strangers stopping by
And though you're out of tune
Girl you blow my mind, you do
And all I'll say is I don't wanna say good night
There's no quiet corner to get to know each other
And there's no hurry I'm a patient man
As you'll discover
Cause if this is what we've got, then what we've got is
gold
We're shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The mornin's on it's way, our friends all say goodbye
There's nowhere else to go, I hope that you'll stay the
night
wooooah, you'll stay the night, wooooah yeah
Just like the song on our radio set
We'll share the shelter of my single bed
But it's a different tune that's stuck in my head
And it goes...
If this is what we've got, then what we've got is gold
We're shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The mornin's on it's way, our friends all say goodbye
There's nowhere else to go, I hope that you'll stay the
night
If this is what we've got, then what we've got is gold
We're shining bright and I want you, I want you to know
The mornin's on it's way, our friends all say goodbye
There's nowhere else to go, I hope that you'll stay the
night
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
A Bucket List
A list with things we want to do together. Now and tomorrow. The start was difficult because I found myself staring at me and wondering what do I want for me. Me. Not what it would be alright to want, not what others would want me / expect me to want. What I want. And then I could not stop. And random thoughts came to my head and scared the sh out of me. Despite of that, I wrote them down. Without any fear.
then the fear kicked in. What if's kicked in. My imagination went wild running in places with you holding my hand, doing things together and making plans. then I realized that I'm scared of my mind, of what it could imagine if I would let it run wild. I want you. I can't put it in other words. I just want you in my life. And me in your life.
That's when I hold my breath and stop in front of the reality that is so against my thoughts. Against everything I want. Then I ask myself why let my heart long for you. The answer comes the very next second. Because I can't imagine myself without you anymore. I don't know why. But I see myself with you in everything I do. Despite this f up reality that I don't like. And despite everything that stands between us. And what scares me even more is that I don't mind the fight. I don't mind the effort I know I have to put in for being with you any amount of time that feels like a second anyway. I m not overwhelmed with this pressure in a bad way. Most of the times that is. 99% of the time. The rest of 1% I feel anger toward everything that is against us and I can't change. I am more overwhelmed with the pressure of having to fight with things I hate. And you know what I mean with that. My reality is worse than yours. At least you have a certain solution for your peace. I know you can find a way to have that peace and what you want and me. And I don't mean just me.
In case you are wondering why I said "let my heart long for you"....here is why....we had this conversation a while ago. When I told you that love is a chemical reaction too. Besides being something in your heart, feelings that run wild and fill your body with warmth and shivers and butterflies and daydreams and hope and wants and needs. that happens because your mind accepts the idea of it. And when it wants it, your brain can deny it to the point at which your heart becomes made of ice and nothing can melt it. I believe that because I did it. I denied my feelings and what I wanted. It all went to dust when I saw things and places and people that reminded me how I felt once. And I believe anyone can do it. If they choose to. If they want to. Love doesn't come when you want it to come, but it can go away if you don't cherish it. If you let things make it go away. If you grab on to the dark side of life and the things that make you feel bad and grab on to reasons that are against.
I don't know if this makes any sense to you. Don't get me the wrong way. I love you with everything I am. And I mean every part of me, soul, reason, logic, mind. Everything. My love for you is beyond any reason and beyond anything my mind or heart ever imagined. At some point I stopped dreaming about what I want in the person with whom I would share all my thoughts. this happened a very long time ago, it feels like ages. It was about ten years ago. Everything that happened after that was based on a "as good as it get's" principle. Not that I didn't feel stuff. I did. But I put love and everything that I thought love should feel like and drive me to do on a second place. Or maybe third. Or maybe lower. I don't even know anymore. It doesn't matter in the end, how low was the idea of love. It matters that you made me want it and feel it and live it in the way I dreamed and beyond. that's what matters. I only talk about the past because I am processing my past and why I felt the way I did, and want to find myself and never let myself be destroyed by the things I hate. I don't want to repeat the mistakes I did.
You have no idea how much positive energy you give me. I feel I can do anything sometimes. Just as I did when I decided to let go of the idea of love. I wanted to prove to me that I can live without it and be myself. Didn't realize that I am nothing without love. I can become an ice-cube. Well, not completely because now I have her. And focused all my need for love on her and now she gives me back everything I put inside her soul when she was a newborn and the only one who could hear my sorrows and smile back at me.
So yeah, I 'll show you my list. Even though I can't move beyond my fear of loosing you. I know this is how love should feel. Because love is a flame that needs the right two energies to burn. It's not an object, it has no shape and cannot be trapped inside a container. There is zero guarantee that if you find it it will be yours forever. You gotta fight for keeping it the way you want it. And it has to be a two-way effort. Doesn't work otherwise. I truly believe that. I think you feel the same.
The reason I'll show it to you the exact way I wrote it, without taking anything out is because you want it like that. And because one point on that list is to make you happy.
Ok, so here goes another post. or another chapter start for my book. :))
then the fear kicked in. What if's kicked in. My imagination went wild running in places with you holding my hand, doing things together and making plans. then I realized that I'm scared of my mind, of what it could imagine if I would let it run wild. I want you. I can't put it in other words. I just want you in my life. And me in your life.
That's when I hold my breath and stop in front of the reality that is so against my thoughts. Against everything I want. Then I ask myself why let my heart long for you. The answer comes the very next second. Because I can't imagine myself without you anymore. I don't know why. But I see myself with you in everything I do. Despite this f up reality that I don't like. And despite everything that stands between us. And what scares me even more is that I don't mind the fight. I don't mind the effort I know I have to put in for being with you any amount of time that feels like a second anyway. I m not overwhelmed with this pressure in a bad way. Most of the times that is. 99% of the time. The rest of 1% I feel anger toward everything that is against us and I can't change. I am more overwhelmed with the pressure of having to fight with things I hate. And you know what I mean with that. My reality is worse than yours. At least you have a certain solution for your peace. I know you can find a way to have that peace and what you want and me. And I don't mean just me.
In case you are wondering why I said "let my heart long for you"....here is why....we had this conversation a while ago. When I told you that love is a chemical reaction too. Besides being something in your heart, feelings that run wild and fill your body with warmth and shivers and butterflies and daydreams and hope and wants and needs. that happens because your mind accepts the idea of it. And when it wants it, your brain can deny it to the point at which your heart becomes made of ice and nothing can melt it. I believe that because I did it. I denied my feelings and what I wanted. It all went to dust when I saw things and places and people that reminded me how I felt once. And I believe anyone can do it. If they choose to. If they want to. Love doesn't come when you want it to come, but it can go away if you don't cherish it. If you let things make it go away. If you grab on to the dark side of life and the things that make you feel bad and grab on to reasons that are against.
I don't know if this makes any sense to you. Don't get me the wrong way. I love you with everything I am. And I mean every part of me, soul, reason, logic, mind. Everything. My love for you is beyond any reason and beyond anything my mind or heart ever imagined. At some point I stopped dreaming about what I want in the person with whom I would share all my thoughts. this happened a very long time ago, it feels like ages. It was about ten years ago. Everything that happened after that was based on a "as good as it get's" principle. Not that I didn't feel stuff. I did. But I put love and everything that I thought love should feel like and drive me to do on a second place. Or maybe third. Or maybe lower. I don't even know anymore. It doesn't matter in the end, how low was the idea of love. It matters that you made me want it and feel it and live it in the way I dreamed and beyond. that's what matters. I only talk about the past because I am processing my past and why I felt the way I did, and want to find myself and never let myself be destroyed by the things I hate. I don't want to repeat the mistakes I did.
You have no idea how much positive energy you give me. I feel I can do anything sometimes. Just as I did when I decided to let go of the idea of love. I wanted to prove to me that I can live without it and be myself. Didn't realize that I am nothing without love. I can become an ice-cube. Well, not completely because now I have her. And focused all my need for love on her and now she gives me back everything I put inside her soul when she was a newborn and the only one who could hear my sorrows and smile back at me.
So yeah, I 'll show you my list. Even though I can't move beyond my fear of loosing you. I know this is how love should feel. Because love is a flame that needs the right two energies to burn. It's not an object, it has no shape and cannot be trapped inside a container. There is zero guarantee that if you find it it will be yours forever. You gotta fight for keeping it the way you want it. And it has to be a two-way effort. Doesn't work otherwise. I truly believe that. I think you feel the same.
The reason I'll show it to you the exact way I wrote it, without taking anything out is because you want it like that. And because one point on that list is to make you happy.
Ok, so here goes another post. or another chapter start for my book. :))
Saturday, March 15, 2014
The cheesy queen
ok, now you clicked a writing button hun. not bad. see, when you asked if I thought you were too cheesy, you basically told me you are the way I want you to be. At least that is how I saw it :)) one more reason to love you. You push buttons in my head hun. I don't know how you do it but I love you for it as you cannot even imagine.
You want to know me? here is a part of me. I am living evidence of all the crap they say about duality. I am emotional and rational, lovable and hate-able, bad and good, kinky and shy, cheesy and not-cheesy ( :))) - couldn't find the word), all in one. And the good part in everything is that for the first time in my life I don't feel I have to hide anything of who I am. But I think you already know that. Because you are the same. I don't know if you had to hide, maybe you had to hide too. But I sure had to hide. And usually it was the kinky side, the stuff that made me feel alive sometimes. The kid. the crazy me. the spontaneous me, who loves to do stuff on the spot if the moment feels perfect for doing something like sitting on the top of a car while someone drives it at 50 an hour. or to drop everything and go at a party in another town. the freedom I felt in doing the small stuff in life and enjoying them as they were the most significant things in the world. now don't get me wrong, haven't done a lot of crazy stuff, but I did my share of bits of everything I had the chance. Probably not even close to the crazy stuff you did.
I hate it when people stop laughing just because their ID tells them they got to an age when laughing and playing should not be acceptable. I like playing like a kid. I like acting out like a kid sometimes. I like acting like an adult and doing stuff right and fast when doing job-related stuff (few people take me serious unfortunately because of my pretty face and young look). and I like sex. In many ways. You know that. Well, you know some of it. I like romance, and I like straight to the point sex too. I like to act based on instinct, but forgot to trust my instincts and let them be. I forgot and quit doing many things. It would be fake and lame to blame this forgetting thing on other people. I was the one who let them make me forget. It wasn't like they made me do it and I refused and someone put a gun to my head. No, I let myself for others because I thought it was worth it or maybe I was just weak. anyway. I'm getting myself back because of you.
And this is another reasons why I love you so much: you see me and take me the way I am. I never understood why sweet had to cancel kinky. Why did cheesy had to eliminate sex from the equation? Why did sex had to cancel love, or why did love had to cancel sex, why people can't say they have sex because they love each other so they always say they make looove, not sex, as if they always make only love. Why do people deny their sexual stuff? Why is it so bad to have sex and wanting it and needing it, I find it hard to understand. I mean it's a lot more acceptable to do anything else, but not this. I don't know, I sometimes hate society for trying to make us all the same in what we believe and feel and want and like. sure, I like looking at nice things, but that's just relative. Nice and beautiful is something we learn to evaluate since we're starting to understand the world around us. we call little girls princesses and tell little boys they can't cry cuz crying is for girls. We divide colors between sexes but forget to learn how to actually live with each-other and let kids find out on their own what they like or not. Too far away from the topic here. :)) as I said, writing button. I could write all night but I would jump from one thing to another and there would be no logical point in what I would end up discussing :)) oh wait. this is my night monologue. That is until you read it :)) you can criticize my ideas you know. I don't wanna talk alone. I have other places where I speak and nobody hears me :)))
Hope you have a good night and see you tomorrow with your cheesiness and kinkiness and hotness and everything you are that I love so much. I know I am repeating myself, but want to make sure. Nobody stops doing anything. New rule. I can have my share of dictatorship. I accepted your decree on "but", now u accept mine. So everything stays on the table hun. If you stop doing anything you feel like doing, I'll know, and I'll hunt you for the rest of your life to start doing it again :)))That's a nice threat. you can threaten me back like that if you want. You get my point, right? :D
You want to know me? here is a part of me. I am living evidence of all the crap they say about duality. I am emotional and rational, lovable and hate-able, bad and good, kinky and shy, cheesy and not-cheesy ( :))) - couldn't find the word), all in one. And the good part in everything is that for the first time in my life I don't feel I have to hide anything of who I am. But I think you already know that. Because you are the same. I don't know if you had to hide, maybe you had to hide too. But I sure had to hide. And usually it was the kinky side, the stuff that made me feel alive sometimes. The kid. the crazy me. the spontaneous me, who loves to do stuff on the spot if the moment feels perfect for doing something like sitting on the top of a car while someone drives it at 50 an hour. or to drop everything and go at a party in another town. the freedom I felt in doing the small stuff in life and enjoying them as they were the most significant things in the world. now don't get me wrong, haven't done a lot of crazy stuff, but I did my share of bits of everything I had the chance. Probably not even close to the crazy stuff you did.
I hate it when people stop laughing just because their ID tells them they got to an age when laughing and playing should not be acceptable. I like playing like a kid. I like acting out like a kid sometimes. I like acting like an adult and doing stuff right and fast when doing job-related stuff (few people take me serious unfortunately because of my pretty face and young look). and I like sex. In many ways. You know that. Well, you know some of it. I like romance, and I like straight to the point sex too. I like to act based on instinct, but forgot to trust my instincts and let them be. I forgot and quit doing many things. It would be fake and lame to blame this forgetting thing on other people. I was the one who let them make me forget. It wasn't like they made me do it and I refused and someone put a gun to my head. No, I let myself for others because I thought it was worth it or maybe I was just weak. anyway. I'm getting myself back because of you.
And this is another reasons why I love you so much: you see me and take me the way I am. I never understood why sweet had to cancel kinky. Why did cheesy had to eliminate sex from the equation? Why did sex had to cancel love, or why did love had to cancel sex, why people can't say they have sex because they love each other so they always say they make looove, not sex, as if they always make only love. Why do people deny their sexual stuff? Why is it so bad to have sex and wanting it and needing it, I find it hard to understand. I mean it's a lot more acceptable to do anything else, but not this. I don't know, I sometimes hate society for trying to make us all the same in what we believe and feel and want and like. sure, I like looking at nice things, but that's just relative. Nice and beautiful is something we learn to evaluate since we're starting to understand the world around us. we call little girls princesses and tell little boys they can't cry cuz crying is for girls. We divide colors between sexes but forget to learn how to actually live with each-other and let kids find out on their own what they like or not. Too far away from the topic here. :)) as I said, writing button. I could write all night but I would jump from one thing to another and there would be no logical point in what I would end up discussing :)) oh wait. this is my night monologue. That is until you read it :)) you can criticize my ideas you know. I don't wanna talk alone. I have other places where I speak and nobody hears me :)))
Hope you have a good night and see you tomorrow with your cheesiness and kinkiness and hotness and everything you are that I love so much. I know I am repeating myself, but want to make sure. Nobody stops doing anything. New rule. I can have my share of dictatorship. I accepted your decree on "but", now u accept mine. So everything stays on the table hun. If you stop doing anything you feel like doing, I'll know, and I'll hunt you for the rest of your life to start doing it again :)))That's a nice threat. you can threaten me back like that if you want. You get my point, right? :D
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Baby, can I hold you tonight
this is just a song verse that comes to my head right now. the song is a bit sad. Tracy Chapman. you probably don't know her songs...
today I had a lot of music in my head. Too much I would add. It was strange how radio songs went crazy and seemed they really wanted to f my afternoon when I knew I wont be able to talk to you at all. this hurts more than I thought it would. I guess because it also feels so much better than I expected. Why? I don't know. It just does. It hurts and it soothes in the same time.
I love you so much that my heart wants to get out of my chest and run to you and hid inside you where I feel it belongs. And my soul. And my brain. And everything I am.
Nothing kinky tonight hunny. Just my thoughts of love. and sorrow. and everything I am. I can't stop my thoughts and it seems this was a good idea to let them out here. Maybe you'll read them sometimes.
Remember when I told you that when I'm happy I rarely speak of my happiness? You made me write about it :)) but now I have to let this out too. I can't hold it inside. It f hurts too much. And I don't know how to make it go away. Talking with you helps because I can feel you with me.
I knew this was coming. Just denied it. Denial is so sweet sometimes because it let's you daydream and not think about the shitty parts of the dream. It also makes you hit the ground so hard when it goes away. I don't know about you, but it hit me really bad today after I realized I won't be able to talk to you. It hit me to the level at which I didn't know what to do with my self and danced with N on a few songs. And she was so lovable and was kissing me and telling me she loves me. She can be so cute and sweet that can almost heal a broken heart.
I really hope you are better than me at this. I try to find ways to keep my mind busy and focus on other stuff. But I see you everywhere and in everything I do. I just stare sometimes that I'm afraid it will become obvious I'm in-love. Even though, it will probably not be the case because I am not going anywhere different than before. Not going out I mean. If I was, I would probably raise suspicions :)) Maybe it would be a good idea to get out of the house once in a while. then I could say I am in-love and that I would have a reason to get away for a few days :)) I said nothing kinky, but my mind is still kinky and acting out :)))
ah well, I guess I should actually start that bucket list. It seems that you are ahead of me with almost 10. I gotta take a deep breath and start waking up my kinky thoughts that I buried so deep :))
good night hun. and sweet dreams. daydreams. and flashbacks. and flashforwards. I love you
today I had a lot of music in my head. Too much I would add. It was strange how radio songs went crazy and seemed they really wanted to f my afternoon when I knew I wont be able to talk to you at all. this hurts more than I thought it would. I guess because it also feels so much better than I expected. Why? I don't know. It just does. It hurts and it soothes in the same time.
I love you so much that my heart wants to get out of my chest and run to you and hid inside you where I feel it belongs. And my soul. And my brain. And everything I am.
Nothing kinky tonight hunny. Just my thoughts of love. and sorrow. and everything I am. I can't stop my thoughts and it seems this was a good idea to let them out here. Maybe you'll read them sometimes.
Remember when I told you that when I'm happy I rarely speak of my happiness? You made me write about it :)) but now I have to let this out too. I can't hold it inside. It f hurts too much. And I don't know how to make it go away. Talking with you helps because I can feel you with me.
I knew this was coming. Just denied it. Denial is so sweet sometimes because it let's you daydream and not think about the shitty parts of the dream. It also makes you hit the ground so hard when it goes away. I don't know about you, but it hit me really bad today after I realized I won't be able to talk to you. It hit me to the level at which I didn't know what to do with my self and danced with N on a few songs. And she was so lovable and was kissing me and telling me she loves me. She can be so cute and sweet that can almost heal a broken heart.
I really hope you are better than me at this. I try to find ways to keep my mind busy and focus on other stuff. But I see you everywhere and in everything I do. I just stare sometimes that I'm afraid it will become obvious I'm in-love. Even though, it will probably not be the case because I am not going anywhere different than before. Not going out I mean. If I was, I would probably raise suspicions :)) Maybe it would be a good idea to get out of the house once in a while. then I could say I am in-love and that I would have a reason to get away for a few days :)) I said nothing kinky, but my mind is still kinky and acting out :)))
ah well, I guess I should actually start that bucket list. It seems that you are ahead of me with almost 10. I gotta take a deep breath and start waking up my kinky thoughts that I buried so deep :))
good night hun. and sweet dreams. daydreams. and flashbacks. and flashforwards. I love you
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Why do you love me? - he asked me, on a cold night
Nice question.
Why?
first answer: I just do.
the other reasons that come to my mind: because you make me feel happy and alive. because you're smart and honest and sweet, and kinky and have all these nice thoughts and do all the nice things just because you feel them.
because of a lot of reasons, and only because of one. because you make me happy. and make me want to be better.
because you understand me and take me as I am and you don't judge me. mainly because you are my soul-mate. but that's no reason, i didn't know that when I met you or when I fell for you. I fell for you like a virgin falling for her first guy. well, maybe not like that, but i had all the butterflies of the virgin love. still have them. I still shiver when I picture your smile and your look and close my eyes and almost feel you touching my soul. and the way I felt when we were in S. yeah. and also when I first touched your hand. that was just pure shiver and happiness. just felt happy and I didn't have to do anything for it. didn't feel I have to give something in return. I just felt happy and no remorse for doing something that made me happy.
back to square one. I love you because you are the way you are and you allowed me to know you like that. and because you opened up to me in a way that made me open up to you. and it's a circle that doesn't really have a start and an end. it's just round. I love you because you love me. it's a two way street. there is no other kind of love that's this pure. and it's conditional in the good way. it exists only because it's a two way street. it started like that and we both know it. it started because of a need for happiness and of comfort inside. you say it was an eye fuck. i agree. but behind that eye fuck was this need for happiness we both had. I didn't know it, you didn't know it. I denied it, I didn't search for it. Not when I found you. I dreamed about it a long time ago, then just gave up. yeah.
sex. of course sex. and love. and fuck. and bang bang. whatever. sex. we can call it any name. but the meaning is the same. it's a connection between two people. sometimes is nice, sometimes is great, sometimes is just hormones flying around. sometimes it sucks and nobody needs it anymore :)) and sometimes is perfect without any buts :)) . I think we had perfect sex in S. because we love each-other the way we both need it.
I don't really know or understand how it works, but i am more and more convinced of the idea of soul-mates. it makes more sense everyday. there's a story about the way people were made at the beginnings. they were pairs - man with woman, with their bodies united and connected to each other. and some Greek god or goddess separated them and cursed them to always seek their pair, their other half. so since then, people are searching for their pair, their other half, the other person that fills the void inside them and their reality. the one person that can stare at them and not get bored or look away because they have to blink. some find it fast, some never find it and some find it when they need it, not when it's the best moment in their lives.
I think we found each-other when wee needed to. I don't know what to do from now on. I just feel i have to hold on to you and don't let go. I don't want to let go. I found you and you are the way I need you to be. the way I dreamed someone would be next to me. I see myself with you. I can imagine me next to you and doing things and building things with you. I don't know why. because I have no reality to ground these feelings in. I just have this feeling.
Why?
first answer: I just do.
the other reasons that come to my mind: because you make me feel happy and alive. because you're smart and honest and sweet, and kinky and have all these nice thoughts and do all the nice things just because you feel them.
because of a lot of reasons, and only because of one. because you make me happy. and make me want to be better.
because you understand me and take me as I am and you don't judge me. mainly because you are my soul-mate. but that's no reason, i didn't know that when I met you or when I fell for you. I fell for you like a virgin falling for her first guy. well, maybe not like that, but i had all the butterflies of the virgin love. still have them. I still shiver when I picture your smile and your look and close my eyes and almost feel you touching my soul. and the way I felt when we were in S. yeah. and also when I first touched your hand. that was just pure shiver and happiness. just felt happy and I didn't have to do anything for it. didn't feel I have to give something in return. I just felt happy and no remorse for doing something that made me happy.
back to square one. I love you because you are the way you are and you allowed me to know you like that. and because you opened up to me in a way that made me open up to you. and it's a circle that doesn't really have a start and an end. it's just round. I love you because you love me. it's a two way street. there is no other kind of love that's this pure. and it's conditional in the good way. it exists only because it's a two way street. it started like that and we both know it. it started because of a need for happiness and of comfort inside. you say it was an eye fuck. i agree. but behind that eye fuck was this need for happiness we both had. I didn't know it, you didn't know it. I denied it, I didn't search for it. Not when I found you. I dreamed about it a long time ago, then just gave up. yeah.
sex. of course sex. and love. and fuck. and bang bang. whatever. sex. we can call it any name. but the meaning is the same. it's a connection between two people. sometimes is nice, sometimes is great, sometimes is just hormones flying around. sometimes it sucks and nobody needs it anymore :)) and sometimes is perfect without any buts :)) . I think we had perfect sex in S. because we love each-other the way we both need it.
I don't really know or understand how it works, but i am more and more convinced of the idea of soul-mates. it makes more sense everyday. there's a story about the way people were made at the beginnings. they were pairs - man with woman, with their bodies united and connected to each other. and some Greek god or goddess separated them and cursed them to always seek their pair, their other half. so since then, people are searching for their pair, their other half, the other person that fills the void inside them and their reality. the one person that can stare at them and not get bored or look away because they have to blink. some find it fast, some never find it and some find it when they need it, not when it's the best moment in their lives.
I think we found each-other when wee needed to. I don't know what to do from now on. I just feel i have to hold on to you and don't let go. I don't want to let go. I found you and you are the way I need you to be. the way I dreamed someone would be next to me. I see myself with you. I can imagine me next to you and doing things and building things with you. I don't know why. because I have no reality to ground these feelings in. I just have this feeling.
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